Twas the Night Before Solstice
By Kristie Burns
‘Twas the night before Solstice and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even our pet mouse
Knitted wool stockings were hung with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there
The children were tucked in organic cotton sheets,
The air filter blocking pollution from the streets.
While mama stayed up to make handmade gifts
I co-slept with the kids and watched auras shift.
When out in the herb garden arose such a clatter
I sprung out of our futon to see what was the matter!
Away to the solar panels I flew like a flash.
They took me hours to install, I hoped they hadn’t crashed.
The crystals we’d laid out to absorb the moonlight
Sparkled like fairydust and blocked my sight.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh without any reindeer.
At that moment I knew that the little old man
Had received my last letter so bold and so grand
Could you stop using reindeer? Last year I wrote him,
And enclosed with the note a PETA pin.
As he neared the house in his all-wooden sleigh
I noticed it was powered by wheatgrass and hay.
Ostheimer! Kinderkram! Stockmar! Fair Trade!
Don’t bother landing if the toys aren’t handmade!
“Hey Arriana,” I called to my wife with chagrin,
“With that body mass do you think he’s vegetarian?”
She paused only a moment from her crafting and said,
“One moment dear! I’m shaping this gol-darn Waldorf doll’s head!”
On our roof I strained to hear the ole boy
But I’d recently insulated it with soy.
So I drew in my hand and was turning around,
When in through the front door came St. Nick with a bound.
The Advent wreath had caught in his hair
As I said, “Why in the world did you enter from THERE?”
The soot in your chimney contains poisons galore.
You should consider the environment more.
But he was dressed in fur from his head to his foot
So I said, “Look whose talking about my soot!”
A bundle of felt he had flung on his back.
“I hope you like handiwork,” he said with a laugh.
His eyes – how they twinkled! His dimples were treats!
His cheeks reminded me of when I dye silk with beets.
He must be of the choleric type I mused.
It’s a good thing with lavender the stockings I infused.
With his fur boots he slipped on the bamboo wood floor.
I offered him Arnica and then closed the front door.
After all that I’d paid to the energy company this year
I didn’t want one bit of that cold air in here.
He had a broad face and a little round belly
I asked him, “Have you seen your naturopath lately?”
He was so chubby and plump I worried for his health
But I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to task,
Needle-felting dragons and weaving a mask.
He knitted a pure cotton sweater and two pairs of mittens,
Then picked up a knife and carved 2 wood kittens.
He finger-knitted an entire nativity scene.
With the most amazing skill I’d ever seen!
When he sprang from his seat on the floor and arose
I yelled, “Arianna – watch – there he goes!”
With the unfinished doll she was struggling to sew,
Arriana went to watch him out the window.
And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight!
“Arriana, my dear, the stiches are too tight!”